An Angel's Heart
by NuttyBar3
Summary: Castiel doesn't understand the emotions growing within him, especially because they are directed towards the man he raised from perdition.


_This is my very first Supernatural slash fanfiction. It is between Dean/Castiel. It's sort of set at the beginning of season 5. Please give me your honest feedback._

_word count: 2,332_

* * *

Castiel watched Dean biting mouthful amounts of his cheeseburger, proceeding to sneak in a few cheese fries, then chugging it down with an ice cold beer. He tilted his head, in that curious way. Usually, though, Cas found himself curious about the way humans behaved, or the unknown references they said, but this time Cas was deeply intrigued in the way Dean made him feel.

Dean, the man who broke the first seal, making all of heaven panic, was sitting right in front of him. Cas knew Dean was a good man all along, though. He believed in him ever since he dragged his soul out of hell and renewed his body, now with his hand tattooed on his arm. Dean was a ladies man, a drunk from time to time, and a hunter. Cas knew there shouldn't be more to Dean than that; he was just another sinner.

It was difficult to convince himself of that ever since the other angels warned him about his emotions kicking in for a certain human being. Cas admired Dean for his strength and determination, but he wasn't allowed to turn that admiration into anything more. He was an angel, for crying out loud. He shouldn't find a man devouring fatty foods attractive. He shouldn't enjoy gazing at his soft green eyes as they stared back with the same vividness. He shouldn't have the sudden urge of wiping the residue of ketchup on Dean's lower lip. And Dean, of course, went ahead and licked his lips with the tip of his tongue.

Cas felt something boiling inside of him. He shifted his eyes to the other tables. He already felt uncomfortable in this unhygienic diner Dean had dragged him to, and now he didn't know how to act with his run of desires. He still didn't understand how an angel could feel all these things. Wasn't that all reserved for humanity? Angels were made to be soldiers, to only serve and adore their creator. Nothing could explain his reactions to this man.

"You sure you don't want anything?" Dean asked, signaling one of the waitresses. "A beer maybe?"

Cas was afraid of making eye contact, even though he missed the perfect color of Dean's eyes. "No, I am not in the mood for drinking, Dean."

Dean huffed. "You don't have to be in a mood for drinking, Cas. Come on, don't be such a party pooper."

Cas couldn't resist looking at the man taunting him, so he gazed at him, receiving the same intensity in return.

The waitress was already at their table, waiting to take their order.

"What can I get you, sweetheart?" A young lady, with an acceptable figure according to society, said.

Dean took his eyes away from Cas, happily directing them to the woman speaking. He sent her one of those smiles Cas would only hope to receive.

"My friend would like a beer, and _I_ would like to see you again." Dean winked at the blushing girl.

Cas managed not to do more than stiffen his body on his side of the booth. He recognized this feeling by now. Jealousy took over his sanity whenever he thought of Dean with a woman. Luckily, he was able to fly his way out of those situations. This time, though, he was forced to watch.

"I'll bring the beer right over, and I think we can make that happen." She left with the biggest smile plastered on her face. If Cas knew better, he could have sworn she did something different with her hips and posture as she walked away.

Dean turned back to Cas. "Looks like I'm getting lucky tonight."

Cas glared at Dean, stuffing down his anger. "Dean, we were going to look at this case together. Tonight. Have you forgotten?"

Dean wiped the smug expression from his face and replaced it with confusion. "Cas, relax. We are allowed to have fun once in a while. I haven't had a night off in so long, I can't even remember. Don't you have something else to do?"

"It just appears irresponsible, from my point of view."

"What? Taking the night off after working nonstop for months seems irresponsible?"

Cas was losing his patience, and his anger continued to grow, but before he could say anything, the waitress returned with his unwanted beer and a piece of paper for Dean.

"I get off at eleven. I'll be waiting for you." She stuck the piece of paper in Dean's hand, tracing her fingers along his palm.

"You got it," Dean grinned at her again.

Cas kept his eyes firm on Dean, waiting for the lady to leave. He didn't bother to touch his beer. He was done with this; done with his worthless pain caused by this worthless man. He was done trying to figure out what he was feeling and a reason why. He was done with repressing every single movement. This was his rock bottom. He had to do _something_.

Once the waitress was out of sight, Dean looked at Cas again. Whatever Cas was portraying must have been scary by the look of Dean's face.

"What's wrong with you, Cas?" He wondered, worried now.

Castiel didn't hesitate in reaching for his head with his two front fingers and zapping them to Dean's motel room.

"What the hell, man? I didn't even pay." Dean protested.

Cas gathered his angelic courage to walk toward Dean Winchester and unite their lips together. He didn't think about anything else, except that he had suffered so long for this man and somehow managed to deal with the enormous desire to kiss him. He didn't worry about Dean's disgusted reaction because nothing was worth missing this.

Cas had never kissed anyone before, but he had seen enough people doing it to know the basics. It looked pleasurable, but only as he imagined doing it with Dean. He knew the same effect wouldn't happen with other bodies and souls.

Their lips clashed at first, yet at the same time they were a perfect match. Dean struggled out the kiss for the first five seconds, but Cas wasn't having that. He made sure his arms were wrapped firmly around Dean's waist so he wouldn't escape until Cas allowed him to. Dean didn't want to participate in the kiss, not even open his mouth a little bit, so Cas bit him. Dean almost growled, but Cas forced his lips open one way or another. He felt Dean's warm breath in his mouth. The taste was excruciatingly wonderful.

He wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but Cas felt Dean inputting movement to the kiss. Dean's body seemed to relax under his hold, so Cas untightened his grip. He felt Dean's lips speeding and suddenly crushing his with a passion he couldn't comprehend. So, Cas broke loose, flashing to the corner of the room. He was confused; he was still shocked about what his moment of insanity made him do. He regretted forcing Dean into something he was sure he didn't want. He regretted making Dean act against his will. He didn't want Dean kissing him back if it wasn't real.

Dean stood in the middle of the room with his mouth hanging open, his hands on his hips as he waited for his breathing to stabilize, and his bright, excited eyes set on Cas' apologetic gaze.

"We have to talk, Dean," Cas murmured with the raspy voice that never failed him.

"Damn right we have to talk. Since when are you into me? And where the fuck did you learn how to kiss? No, wait a minute, since when are you into dudes?"

Cas couldn't help the rolling of his eyes. "I am not into dudes, Dean. Lately, I've been having thoughts, perhaps feelings, about you."

Dean's eyes popped wide open. "You're trying to confess your love to me? Cas, you're an angel. You're a server of God. You can't be in love with a person, much less me."

"Yes, that is why I have been struggling with my emotions. But, Dean, what am I supposed to do? You were practically throwing yourself at every woman passing by. And when I see you sleeping, eating, walking, I desire you. I can't have enough of seeing you. I don't know what to do with all of this."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what to tell you, man. I mean, don't get me wrong, you are a great…angel, but you know I like women. Cas, I…"

Cas actually smiled, utterly amused at Dean. "I'm not asking you to return the feeling, Dean. I just had to get it off my chest. I would like to apologize for that stolen kiss, as well. It was something I wanted to try with you. First time, actually."

"Well, for it being your first time you did a pretty damn good job. I could have sworn you had experience. And that bite man, I don't know where you learned that trick."

Cas was confused again, tilting his head. "Dean, I'm surprised. You don't seem that disgusted from kissing me. I thought you'd be filled with rage. You're complimenting me now?"

Dean was caught off guard. He licked his lips, right where Cas had bit him. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Cas walked closer to him again, hoping for the best. Cas was inches away from Dean, forgetting the personal space Dean had always talked about. Dean didn't protest this time. He looked at Cas, and Cas softened his eyes as he looked at the man he gave everything for. He was beautiful to Cas, in every aspect of the word. Whether Dean was aware of this or not, Cas wanted to let him know.

He waited, though. Didn't make a move. He'd waited long enough just to kiss the man. He could wait even longer to move to the next step.

***

Dean wasn't as patient as Cas seemed to be. He took Cas, moving him like a ragdoll because Cas allowed the movement, and smashing their lips together. Dean was ravenous against his lips, hungry for the affection Castiel was willing to offer. Dean knew this wasn't his usual foreplay scenery. Kissing a man, in this case an angel, wasn't what his wet dreams consisted of, but this was pretty fucking hot. And it wasn't just the physical chemistry that urged his tongue to scavenge Cas' mouth, it was the sudden realization that kissing Castiel this way made him feel like, oh for heaven's sake, he felt like a high school girl on her first date.

The sensation of butterflies fluttering in a belly finally made sense. Dean would have felt disgusted with his girly thoughts if Cas wasn't so good at supplying open-mouth kisses all over his neck. Truth was Dean could hardly remember the last time a make-out session had made him feel this overwhelmed, and wanted.

Cas was devouring him up, sneaking his hands to his lower regions, but suddenly stopping in a jerky movement that sent him to the door, panting.

Dean looked down at his pants, noticing a third member waking up for the party. He looked up at Cas, afraid he would disappear if he made any rough movements. It was kind of hard with the pressure in his crotch.

"Cas, mind not continuing to do that? We're getting kind of upset now."

"Dean, I will not force you to be with me."

Dean looked at Cas' mortified face, puzzled. "Force me? What, you think I made my tongue swim in your mouth for half a minute because I was forced to?"

"For some unexplained reason, I want you, Dean," Cas declared, shaking his head. "But I've reached my limit of sitting back and watching as you have your way with women. I am not looking to satisfy your pleasures, Dean. I am not here to help you experiment."

Dean understood what Cas was trying to explain, and although this was all coming as an avalanche to him, he wanted it all. He was ready to give into his desires, because he wanted that angel like he wanted pie every single day of the week. And the angel made him feel safe, always one step ahead. The angel was loyal and adoring and to be honest, sort of adorable.

He just didn't have the words to explain all of this to Cas. Feelings weren't his forte. But he found a way to let his angel know how much he wanted this to happen.

Dean approached Cas, cornering him against the door. All those years of experience in seduction helped him convince the smartest woman of his intentions. He ran his nose up and down Cas' jaw, making low roaring noises in the back of his throat. Cas was firm, unable to let go of his previous words, or accepting that Dean could actually return the feeling.

"Castiel, you are all I want," Dean confessed, while kissing up and down at his neck. Cas' slight tremble made Dean happy. "You are all I will ever want," he whispered in his ear, blowing his warm breath inside it. Dean let his hands move down to Cas' hips, jerking them closer to his. He kissed his cheek, his lips, his forehead, and even his eyelids. It was a classic Dean move. He tried to be sweet and sincere, because he knew his angel deserved nothing less.

Castiel gulped. "You won't change your mind tomorrow?"

Dean sighed, licking his lips. "No, Cas."

Castiel couldn't hold off any longer, taking Dean's face in both his hands, hastily burying his lips against his. "I will hold your word."

Dean smiled between kisses. "You're so easy."

"You haven't seen my sluttiest parts yet." Cas grabbed onto Dean's hair, pulling his head back and biting all the way up his chest.

Dean chuckled heavily. "Are you sure you're an angel?"

"Let's pretend I'm not, just for tonight."


End file.
